Ok I don't date because I'm really petrified of commitment. That being said.

I met a guy this weekend and he seems cool. We were going to go out and chill next weekend...

and he's already driving me fucking crazy.

I've told him that I'm super busy this week. I've tits out said, I can't do lunch, I can't catch a movie, this week is going to be horrible for me.
I mean...IMs every day, emails, etc. And it all goes back to one thing.

Saturday: "Wanna hang out this week?" I tell him Im having a crazy busy week, the next time I have any time is this weekend.

Sunday we have this conversation:"What are your plans looking like". And I've told him flat out...my husband is in town until tonight, I have a meeting Wed night, and my friend from college is in town Thurs-Fri so I am booked solid until the weekend.

Last night: "What are your plans looking like?" I say, my husband is here, we're getting Chinese...this guy is like "well I wanted to know if you wanted to grab a bite". "I have friends in from out of town." "Oh, so tomorrow" "No, not tomorrow, I am busy all week maybe this weekend".

Later last night: "So when are you free?" "Next weekend."

At this point it should be pretty fucking clear, right?

I just got an email. "What are your plans looking like?"



The first couple of times, yea, I don't expect anyone to know my schedule, but at this point he's just flat out not listening to me and I am not going to have this conversation numerous fucking times a day for the rest of as long as I decide to put up with his shit.

My friend says it's just me being overly picky and he probably just forgot...I say if he's already this clingy (constant emails wondering what I'm doing, when I can see him etc), it's just going to get worse.

Thoughts?

Run. Run now.

So you met a guy, and, what, you didnt give him your phone number? You just gave him your screenname? - Is this an internet stalker or something?

That was kind of what I was thinking.



Bdub, my cell phone is off. He's got my work cell, but everyone knows the easiest way to get in touch is with one of my emails.

Is he worth being very nice to and trying to explain once again that you are busy, or is he putting you off seeing him at all by asking the same question over and over?
It could be flattering that he wants to see you again so much, but in fact it really does seem like he isn't even paying attention to your replies.

The last time this happened to me, it was because the guy had another woman and wanted to make sure he wouldn't bump into me while he was out.

Or he could just be clueless.

Either way, I'd be suspicious.

His apparent clingy-ness from the get go, added to this statement:

"Ok I don't date because I'm really petrified of commitment."


Leads me to believe there is no future here. But what do I know, I don't date either. You could always just ignore the next plans inquiry and see if he bombards you with the question over and over regardless of your lack of response...

I dont think thats the reason you don't date.

Take it as you may, but it's not as deep rooted in commitment as you make it out to be.

We can psychoanalyze me later, thats not the point.

If it's a repetitive question like that I'm tending to think that he asks that question a lot and doesn't really care to hear the answer. He's looking for a "yeah, we can hang out tonight" or "not tonight" kind of answer - the long version where you're telling him when you can hang out doesn't sink in.

He'll end up not listening to you in the end and repeating his questions over and over again until you want to kill him. Or he's just clingy. Whatever, he's bad news for you and your schedule.

It's just going to get worst.


Post about it on your blog then send him the link.

Does he know what you look like?

Husband?

Considering I met him at a party my friend threw, I'm going to go with 'yes'.

And don't be a fucking douchebag in here.


my work/facebook husband/coworker is chilling at my place. Havent seen him in way too long.

Yeah, and you're wondering why he can't pay attention. Duh... Put the damn things away!

OK, all kidding aside, if this were a woman I was dating, I would truly be concerned. I think it is very nice that he wants to spend time with you and wants to know what you're doing but I would be worried on two fronts.

1. From what you said, he is either not listening to the things you have said, completely ignoring the things you have said or he is too obtuse to understand the things you have said. Neither of these options lend themselves to long-term warm fuzzy feelings.

2. Clinginess. This one really scares me. It has been my experience that people who are overly concerned with my life/activities/whereabouts do so because of either lacking a secure sense of self or they have been hurt somewhere in the past and have trust issues. Again, Neither of these options lend themselves to long-term warm fuzzy feelings.

Just my opinion...

Of course, there is always the possibility that he is an incredibly nice guy and that you are a complete and utter nut-job with a huge fear of commitment and an over-developed flight response...

Im thinking he is a really nice guy, but does that negate the clinginess necessarily?

I mean I don't want to hurt his feelings, but Jesus Christ I'm already feeling like I'm suffocating and we haven't even gone out yet!

I guess being clingy is normal for a guy who is desperate to get laid or a relationship. But the repetitive question that he ask is really aggravating. He's like a psychotic robot , you gotta self destruct this robot before he gets to you.

how needy are you? it seems like youre putting up with it for some reason so if you don't get asked out often go for it.

i would think most normal people would have ignored him after the 2nd or 3rd time.

You've got tits and a vagina. To matt, that's icky.

I don't want to be bitchy cause he's my friend's friend. And I couldn't decide if I was just being insane as usual.

Maybe you can ask your friend about him (his attitude, character, history) considering your friend know a lot more about him than you do... So you can make the next move whether to stay or runaway.

speaking as someone who analyzes every little everything to death...

i really think you should wait until you hang out with him before you judge this one.

just don't respond to one of the emails and see what happens.

sometimes people rub you the wrong way before you/they get comfortable. who knows... after you hang out with him, you may like all the attention and WANT to spend every spare moment with him.

i could be displacing my current state of mind, though... i'd love to randomly date someone new right now.

The flip side is she goes out with him once and finds a dead rabbit in a pot of boiling water when she gets home.

want his number?


Ive hung out with him (with a group of people), we get along just fine.


I got another email and decided fuck being nice. I told him that he needed to calm down just a little bit.

Why don't you take your tits out again and tell him that dude!!! I'm not fucking lying, I have tons of work, I have free time on the weekend, that's usually friday and saturday, so we will see us at the fucking weekend I would take a bath and wear something pretty and all that jizz, to me this guy is awfully interested in you and also fucking clueless, like he has a weird vibe, he is wayyyyy insecure and he's thinking this bitch is fucking every day with diferent guys, and I love her!!! Maybe he's not that bad guy, he just needs to feel secure or to know you better, besides you cand dump him and wait for me, love.

Edit: If this post was meaningful to you, please cooperate and help me get back at 0% with your 10% low warn count thingy yay I didn't understand it myself.

I just wanted to know if you were busy this week. Fuck!

I think everyone is being a little harsh on the guy. He may be a be a tad overzealous and needs to learn some self control, but ladies you do make us mentally disabled. Every single guy should have a "S" stamp on the restrictions block of there license and a "caution: brain may not be functioning properly" sticker on there bumper. You obviously know hes attracted to you, and you wouldn't be bloging for advice if you were not attracted to him. Your talking about going out on a date, not going out on a relationship. If you don't have a good time than do go out with him again.

I think you should give him the benefit of doubt.

They* all be overzealous because they all really want to get in her pants themselves... thus, attempts at eliminating all competition.


















* yes ladies, I was including you

If the stereotypes are true, you should just sleep with him and then he won't call you back.