I didn't know whether to place this in the short story thread the other dude made so I made this.. enjoy.

April 14th 2013, was the first day of the rest of my life. Who am I you may ask? For now it doesn't matter, all you need to know is that day everything changed, a new beginning. It was when I found out I was a cannibal.
I didn't know it was going to happen when I woke up it was a normal morning, phone alarm clock went off, kissed the girlfriend on the forehead, had a shower – normal. I went into the kitchen the missus had made me a banana smoothie it was horrible, she really needs to learn how to cook I thought to myself. She waved goodbye and departed the kitchen off to university she was, she had high aspirations on becoming a doctor and I supported her with compassion. My own aspirations had become negated since the accident in `09 I think that’s when she first fell for me. Myself, a bucolic boy, her a glamorous city dweller – we were from two different worlds but it seemed to work. Anyway I’m getting off track.
I went for my morning walk to Baker Street the infamous spot where Frank Ferdinand was caught eating his own hand, high on acid after a night at the local rave, he had got to the bone and all an amazing sight. I think that’s when it first happened, some subconscious thought on what human flesh would taste like I think I may have juxtaposed it to chicken, of course I had, but I hadn’t known it yet it was still simmering there in my subconscious. It was only until a few minutes into that walk where Mr. Barnes out of nowhere asked me if I would like to try some chicken that he cooked for his daughters eighteenth birthday party, now I say this was out of nowhere because Mr. Barnes for as long as I have known him has always been extremely taciturn towards everyone. It’s like he thought “they” were after him, nevertheless he offered me this chicken. I was weary at first languid even I had a rough night, next doors dog had been barking into all hours of the night and I was too lazy to do anything, so I just laid there, staring at her bare back thinking of what will happen in the next couple of years, once again off the track.
We walked into Mr. Barnes’ front patio and on the table was a huge plate with the chicken on it, I heard no noise from inside the house. I suspected that his daughter was too hangover. Mr. Barnes pointed at the whitish meat and urged me to eat it, I did, it tasted splendid. He then started to laugh hysterically jumping up and down, at the moment I uncovered an object from my mouth, a ring, I had just eaten a finger. Was it her finger you may ask? Yes it was. I loved it. I took another slice off the table and more and more. Mr. Barnes went white. That’s when it happened, I noticed Mr. Barnes’ cane to my left, I smashed it over his head, dragged him inside and carved him up and ate him.
I walked out of that house knowing that I had eaten two people and I knew that I would again. I got aroused and walked back home, waiting for her to arrive home for dinner.

There are other threads this could have been posted within, but it's not like the lit forum is bursting with unmanageable threads, so putting this in its own thread is fine. As for the story, it was creepy and horrifying...but I suspect that was the point of the whole thing.



From a less-subjective view, the punctuation was hit-and-miss. Mostly "miss," though. For instance:

The first sentence should have either been multiple sentences or rephrased to make it less unintelligible as one. And the second sentence completes the thought that was left hanging in the second half of the first sentence. It could have read better:


Another comment: break the ideas into multiple paragraphs. Jamming that whole thing into four paragraphs made it harder to read.

Okay, hands, come tell me how judgmental I am and how you loved it...

edit: "is" and "us" are not exactly interchangeable

I agree about the punctuation and structure errors. It could have had more time put into it. It seems like it was rushed for a school paper.

As far as the story... go-go cannibal rangers.

Yeah it was mega rushed, I was just bored and I let my fingers do the talking. Thanks though for the noting of corrections.. always like to try and keep my grammar in check.